I Wanna
by Quiesceperferque
Summary: This is it. He's leaving. No more of this mindfuckery from Elena. He was moving on. He had a past to bury. OS Songfic featuring "I Wanna" by All-American Rejects. Rated M for some smut and language.


**A/N: **So this is a OS, post S3. It's my first actual Vampire Diaries fanfiction, with the vampires and stuff. No AH/AU.

Basically, I'm in a love/hate relationship with Elena because of what happened in the finale and I basically want to go attach myself to a different ship because I ship Delena so hard, it hurts that I go onto youtube at 2AM and look up Delena videos and rewatch the finale ending with Damon/Elena again and again. It's probably unhealthy how attached I am to this ship. LOL.

I do recommend going and listening to this song because I just love it so and I think it kind of applies to Delena.

_"This is it. He's leaving. No more of this mindfuckery from Elena. He was moving on. OS Songfic featuring "I Wanna" by All-American Rejects."_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. All rights go to their proper owners. Just a viewer/writer wishing Delena would finally happen. ;-; Rated M for some smut and language.

* * *

**EPOV:**

_**I never thought that I was so blind**_

It's been six long weeks since she had seen him. She still remembered the encounter so clearly. She knew it was unhealthy, to chastise her mentality with the same memory over and over again.

The way his face crumbled. And yet, her mind didn't see the connection. She was selfish. She wanted her cake, and to eat it too. It was so unfair, to him.

Over these past six weeks, she had analyzed all of her actions. It was unfair what she had done to him. It was all so easy, but now that he was gone, it was like the light finally shined through. They had always blamed him. He was the escape goat. He had to be the bad guy and no one played the role better than Damon. He always took it like a champion, always played it off as if he intended all of those actions in the good of evil. He was the one who had to make the hard choices for everyone. He basically carried the team on his back, no demands.

She felt… ashamed of herself. Ashamed that she could so easily pin the blame on him. Ashamed that she had stringed him along for so long. Ashamed that she could not act out on what her heart told her to do.

His face crumbled. His face crumbled. His face crumbled.

_**I can finally see the truth**_

* * *

_Elena sat up in a gasping loudly. She could still feel the water in her lungs, suffocating her. Immediately turning to her side, she vomited the river water out of her lungs. It still tasted familiar, not the good kind either._

_"Stefan? Stefan!" Those were the first words out of her mouth, and the first to strip Damon of his walls._

_Stefan, who had been sitting besides her "dead" body, pulled out of his sitting fetal position and scrambled besides Elena, immediately wrapping his arms around her, pulling her head against his shoulder._

_"I'm so sorry. I did what you told me to do. I had no idea it would happen like this, I swear," Stefan mumbled the words carefully into her hairline, barely above a whisper._

_Her eyes glanced up from the bottom of the wall up, following up the stairs where she saw Damon. His face crumbled, at the sight. Elena, instead, turned and buried her face into Stefan's chest. She didn't want this. She had grown up with the concept of getting married, having kids, growing old, and dying due to natural causes. She wasn't ready for this life. She never had been._

* * *

_**It's me for you**_

Once she had drained the blood bag, handed personally from Damon, she looked up to see nothing. He had left.

She prayed over the next few days that it was temporary. After all, he had promised her he would never leave her alone.

Her hope dwindled over the next week. And the following. And during the third week, she contemplated over her life ever since Stefan entered it and all the mischief that followed along. Never in her life did she expect such events to take place.

They say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." His absence, made her feel incomplete, numb, lifeless. She was a fool. Her heart begged her to go to Damon that night, but her mind said otherwise. 'Stefan is the right choice, safe. Protect yourself.' God, that was all Damon ever did. Protect her. Consume her. Gave her passion, adventure, danger. And it scared her.

But over these weeks, she knew it. Damon was the right choice. And she was a coward. A stupid foolish coward.

* * *

**DPOV:**

_**Tonight you can't imagine that I'm by your side**_

_**'cause it's never gonna be the truth  
so far for you**_

Damon tipped the bottle a bit back further, letting the remaining slivers of bourbon slide down the glass bottle and through the opening, into his mouth. A grumpy grumble and Damon threw the bottle to the side of the motel room.

Once Elena had made her choice, the one of whether to transition or not (not the one where she ripped his heart out), Damon left. He left everything behind. His books, his car, his hometown, his brother, her, not his.

He didn't want to leave any traces. Oh fuck, it wouldn't even matter anyways. Elena made her choice. He bet they were cheering he was finally gone. After all, he was the big bad brother of Stefan, the person who ruined Caroline's life, Bonnie's immortal enemy, killed Jeremy, and her seducer.

He figured Caroline could help Elena. After all, he had basically trained her to control herself. He was the king of control, at least to blood, not the least to emotion.

Lying upon the shitty bed, he rolled over to his side and threw his arm out. See, if she had chosen him, he would have treated her right. He would have never left her side. He would have chosen her. He would comfort her every night.

He wondered if she thought about him. Oh no, not this again. The "What-ifs" or "Is-She" scenarios. No more mentally reprimanding his mind with these hypothetical situations.

Damon snorted at his pathetic behavior. Shitty motel, lots of booze, skanky hoes, moping. He was like the more attractive, bad boy version of Stefan.

Damon rolled back on his back, his arm still splayed out to his side. He could be the comforting boyfriend. He could be the man who would change for the girl. Scratch that, he had been the man who did change for the girl. And look where that got him, no where. She had left him to die, all alone in a storage unit with a crazy vampire killer who was also his best friend, to go back to Stefan.

"It's always going to be Stefan!" Damon roared loudly before picking up the nearest bottle and throwing it at the wall. Damon stood up and flipped the beside table before vampire moving to the other side of the room and tearing at the extra mattress. He punched a wall in the wall before throwing himself back onto his bed.

"It's always going to be Stefan," his voice had barely croaked out. God, how he wanted to compel himself that, and then maybe his mind wouldn't be plagued with these hypothetical situations, these memories.

* * *

_"I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone and I fell for him instantly. No matter what I feel for you, I…I never unfell for him."_

_"I care about you Damon, which is why I have to let you go."_

_"Maybe if you and I met first,"_

"Goodbye, Elena."

* * *

You never unfell for him.

It's always going to be Stefan.

Maybe.

Goodbye, Elena.

He wasn't sure which part hurt the most. Finding out she never unfell for Stefan. Her letting him go. Her giving him the false hope of they had met first, when they had. Saying goodbye, when he thought it was going to be his final moments.

No, he didn't want the pity. He wanted Elena to want him, just the way he was. Just from what memories they had created together after that moment. He didn't want that to be the game changer. No. He was going to be the bigger man. He was going to leave. After all, they did have an agreement. He was a Southerly gentleman after all.

He had to move on. He had spent his life being second best to his brother, to two different girls. He wasted a hundred and fifty years on one of those girls. He wasn't about to waste another hundred and fifty on another one. And as much as it pained him, he had to move on.

"I care about you Elena, which is why I have to let you go."

Last gulp of his bourbon, he stood up. He had things to get. A past to bury. He was done.

* * *

Damon slipped into the boarding house, no movement, no sound. Damn, he was so good at being sneaky. He should be a motherfucking ninja. Grab a few books, his good stash of booze, his car, and he was out. Deuces.

Walking over to his stash, he opened the cabinets to find everything is disarray. Booze gone, bottles knocked over. What the fuck.

Dragging a hand through his hair, he bit his lip from letting out a sigh. No need to give away his position. Listening carefully, he made sure that no one was upstairs. Sweet, books, car keys. He's out.

Opening his room, he found it… occupied. Someone had obviously gone through his clothes, had a toss in his bed, used his shower. Duh fuck.

Damon shook his head furiously before walking over to the stack of books besides his bed. They were first edition books, romance mostly that was considered "classic fiction" today, but they had kept his mind off the war when he was off. Funny how he tried to avoid combat and death back in the day when now he was the cause of it.

Stacking a few books on the bed, Damon felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

Whipping around, he saw her. He felt the slight pain ripple through his body, his jaw tightened, his pose stiff. The bourbon had numbed most of the feeling. His mind was tired of being mentally abused. He had worn himself out, mentally. No more of Elena's mindfuckery.

"You've been gone," Elena let out in a tentative voice. Dressed in a black v-neck too big for her and a pair of boy shorts. Jesus, why didn't she ever wear non-revealing clothes?

"Yep," Damon turned around and tried to busy himself with the books again and he made sure to pop the 'p' loudly.

"Where were you?" Damon wanted to snort at the question. If they wanted to find him, they would have found him. He was at a motel just right outside of Mystic Falls. On a scale of one to ten, how much of a fuck did they care about him? No fucks were given.

"I'm just grabbing a few things and I'm outta your hair," Damon gripped the books and tucked them under one arm before opening the bedside drawer. Pulling out his keys, he tucked them into his leather jacket's pocket before turning and starting for the door.

"You're leaving? You said you wouldn't leave me," Elena, being Elena, moved to block the door with her body. Ugh, newborns and their overconfident abilities in thinking they could outdo a hundred and fifty year old vampire their senior.

"Obviously, I already broke that promise. And second, who are you to hold promises to me anyways. I'm no good for that sort of stuff," He praised himself for being able to coolly say that. Damn, booze had good numbing effects.

"Damon, please hear me ou-" Damon threw the books down at his feet.

"NO!" He had roared it with such ferocity that Elena's sorrowful expression had turned into one of fearful shock.

"You don't get to say that to me. You made your choice. You made it clear when you woke up. You don't get to ask anything from me anymore!" Damon had snarled it viciously at Elena.

_**But can you hear me say  
Don't throw me away**_

"My life, has been in Stefan's shadow. My father, Katherine, you. The only person who truly ever cared about me, put me first in their life was my mom and she was taken away from me too young. I'm tired of being second best. Just for once, I want to know. Fuck that. I want to feel what it's like to be the first choice. I want to feel what it's like to have someone drop everything their doing so they can attend to me first. I want to feel like a first priority, like I can be loved," Damon seethed the words callously towards Elena.

Elena stood there, eyes wide opened, jaw dropped. She didn't know what to say to that. She had used him. When she needed someone to lean on when Stefan was gone, he was there. When Stefan came back, he was still there. In the background, trying to not let the wounds sting.

Damon bit his bottom lip before turning away and glancing at the floor. God, how he just wanted her to fight for him. He didn't want to make things easy for her. That was just unfair to him. He didn't want to spell it out for her. If she wanted him, she would have to figure it out.

'Don't let me walk out that door. Don't let me slip away through your fingers. Fight for me, damn it!'

_**There's no way out  
I gotta hold you somehow**_

'Don't let me walk out that door. Don't let me slip away through your fingers. I've missed you so much. I missed you so god damn much, I just want to touch you. Give you one good bye kiss, but I can't. That will just mentally fuck me up. God, why am I such a masochist?'

Her silence irked him, disappointed him, but who was he to have his hopes up? He let out a sigh before closing his eyes and shaking his head. He was a fool.

"Yeah… that's what I thought…" Damon picked up his hand and let his thumb rub the bridge of his nose for a bit.

Damon leaned over and picked up the books from the floor, and when he stood up, he steeled himself to look at Elena. Her eyes were cast down in shame.

"You know what went through my mind when Ric was lying dead in my arms. I chanted the same thing over and over again. 'You are not dead.' I wasn't saying it for Ric. How fucked up is that?" Damon bit his lip once again before letting out a scoff once more. He was proud of himself. He resisted all urges to kiss her, to hold her, to comfort her. Damn, there goes his humanity.

"Goodbye, Elena." He had shoved her out of the way with his shoulder, disappearing through the wooden frame.

* * *

**EPOV:**

Elena was ashamed.

She should let Damon go. She should let him move on and find happiness. She should no longer burden him with her emotional issues.

But she couldn't. She was… no. She is impossibly in love with Damon. She wanted to feel him, all the time, everywhere. She wanted to be consumed by Damon.

_**I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you**_

Elena sped down the stairs and once again, blocked the doorway for Damon.

He let out a low growl of frustration before reaching an arm to shove her out of the way.

"Stefan left."

The words stilled in the air and Elena stood there, trying to gauge Damon's expressions. His eyes momentarily flickered with hope but they were smothered out by his rage and anger in half a second's time.

"Why am I supposed to care about that? Bunny boy left, whoop-de-doo," He finally lowered his arm from suspending in the air. He was trying to play it cool, hide behind his sarcastic mask. She knew him too well.

"He left because I wasn't in love with him anymore," Elena said slowly. She wanted to leave those words hanging in the air, letting them slowly sink into his head because everyone knew pounding words into Damon's head would get you no where.

"He pretended that when I held him at night, that it was him in my head. He pretended to not hear me murmur your name at night. He pretended not to notice the signs of depression, the signs of loneliness, the signs of missing someone so much that you feel so completely empty. There's a hollowed out feeling in me and every time I think of how much I miss you, there's a slight… stab of pain. It's dulled now, but when I let these emotions get to me, they just wash over me." Elena couldn't stop her word spew. It just all let out.

"And I knew you still feel that way about me. I know you still want me. I knew that you are resisting every urge to touch me as I am."

_**you wanna touch me too**_

She was taking a wild shot in the dark. She wasn't sure. She hoped her blind assumption was accurate. God, she hoped he still loved her. He had to. He couldn't just leave her behind like that. She shut her eyes momentarily, trying to fight back the tears if he wasn't.

When she opened again, Damon's face had softened. She saw the internal struggle.

That was all she needed.

_**Everyday, but all I have is time  
Our love's the perfect crime**_

_**I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you**_  
_**you wanna touch me too**_  
_**every way and when they set me free**_  
_**Just put your hands on me**_

She flew towards him and threw her arms around his neck, burrowing her head into the crook of his neck. The sounds of books colliding with the floor as his arms just hung helplessly by his sides. Her senses were all overwhelmed by everything Damon. The feeling of his hard toned muscle against hers, the smell of his Bourbon, cologne, and leather, the sound of his breathing, it just all felt right.

Tentatively, Damon finally wrapped his arms around Elena. And then, he pulled her close to his body, flushing his body fully against hers. Every part of them touching, and Elena let out a sigh.

"This. This, feels right." Elena closed her eyes as she just savored the moment, feeling complete. The dull pain inside her chest that convulsed pain through her body subsided at last after these last few weeks.

* * *

**DPOV**:

He knew he should have faltered in his emotions. He showed her his cards, and the result? Elena throwing her arms around him. He dropped his books. Was this real?

He could feel her breathing in his scent, trying to memorize every curve of him, every sinewy muscle of him. He knew she was savoring the moment, trying to remember every little thing about this moment. How? Because he was doing the same thing.

Finally slipping his arms around her, he pulled her tight against his body. God, this felt so right. It felt all right. It felt like everything in the world was finally right.

"This. This, feels right." He heard her murmur the words against his chest and he couldn't help but feel his heart warm up a bit. This was it. It was the confession he had waited for. He was the right choice. He was the one that made he feel complete, not empty, him.

_**Take everything that I know you'll break  
and I give my life away so far to you**_

"I remember everything…" Elena once against murmured against his chest, before looking up and meeting into his ocean eyes.

"I remember… us, meeting first. I remember your confession of love. But most of all, I remember how terrible I treated you. You gave me every piece of you, and I took advantage of it." Elena's eyes began to tear up again, tears threatening to spill out, like a dam ready to break.

Damon tightened his jaw. He didn't know what to say to that. He was always willing to sacrifice his life for, every little piece of him. And even though Elena made him show that human side of him, that vulnerability, he would do it all over again. All over again just for her.

"I will always choose you." That was all he could say. And with that, he finally leaned in and pressed his lips softy against Elena's.

* * *

_**EPOV:**_

_**Can you hear me say  
don't throw me away  
There's no way out  
I gotta hold you somehow**_

_**I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you**_  
_**You wanna touch me too**_  
_**Everyday, but all I have is time**_  
_**Our love's the perfect crime**_

_**I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you**_  
_**You wanna touch me too**_  
_**Every way and when they set me free**_  
_**Just put your hands on me**_

Tears began to spill down Elena's face. Tears of joy.

She was overwhelemed. Her emotions were getting the best of her. Damn these vampire side effects. Her depression seemed to be nonexistent. Her rage at herself and the world, gone. Her love for Damon, multiplied. Her lust, just as strong as her love. Yes, yes, consume her.

Elena put more passion into her kiss. This wasn't temporarily. This just wasn't "let's take Damon out for a ride." No, this was it. He was meant for her, she was meant for him. Everyday, all they have is time.

Elena's tongue swept across Damon's bottom lip, asking for permission before sliding her hands down from around his neck onto the planes of his chest.

Battling for dominance with Damon's tongue, she let her finger tips trace every muscle under his black dress shirt. Trailing slowly, agonizingly slow down his chest, making sure to trace his abdominal muscles, twice, before settling on the waistband of his jeans.

"Take me upstairs to your room," Elena managed to gasp out before pressing her lips against Damon's again.

Feeling his arms wrap around her tighter and lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around Damon's waist, wrapping her arms around his neck, tunneling her fingers into his raven locks. The cool breeze felt fluttering under her shirt was no longer a shock, something she had become used to as her transition to a vampire. Good side effect.

Feeling the silk sheets ripple around her, Elena refused to relinquish her hold on Damon, forcing him to fall over with her, holding himself over her as she laid against the bed.

Elena made quick work of Damon's jacket and his dress shirt, pushing them over his broad shoulders before starting to work on his belt. Damon's light kisses peppered all over her upper body, worshipping every inch of her skin, making her blush to no end.

Once his belt was undone, Elena popped the button and attempted to pull down the zipper before she felt a strong hand wrap around her own.

* * *

**DPOV:**

"I don't think so," Damon's hot husky voice whispered into her ear as he traced the shell of her ear.

"Too much clothes on, it's only fair." Damon leaned away with his signature trademark smirk on his face, a smirk which Elena immediately returned before taking his hand and guiding it from her collarbone, down between the valley of her breast, past her stomach, and to the hem of the shirt.

He was fingering the hem of her shirt with an amused smile on his face before looking up at Elena, capturing her eyes and taking her breath away, a feeling he never got old of.

"Is this my shirt?" Damon cocked his head at her with an amused look.

Her reply? A kiss to the lips before Damon pulled the shirt over her head.

No sort of undergarment under the shirt at all, a way of life that Damon immediately agreed with.

Leaning forward, he began to place butterfly kisses down the column of her neck, across her collarbone, before making his way down between the valley of her breast. Turning to her left breast, he captured her nipple into his mouth and circled it a few times. Biting and tugging it softly with his blunt human teeth, he let go before laving it with his tongue all over again, causing her nipples to harden immediately with the first lick. He copied the same actions with her right breast, making sure to pay homage to her lovely breasts.

Elena during that time had a hand buried in his hair, writhing about and moaning Damon's name. Her breathy moans only caused his pants to tighten even more, making it extremely uncomfortable that he was sure his manhood probably had a zipper imprint against his shaft.

Damon dragged his lips back to Elena's, engaging in a passionate kiss that only egged on their sexual actions.

* * *

**EPOV:**

Damon's hand had begun to palm her right breast, causing her to whimper under his touch, into his mouth as he continued her ministrations.

Refusing to wait any longer, Elena palmed the bulge in Damon's pants before tugging down the zipper and forcing his jeans down his legs with her own feet. In all of his naked glory, his manhood at full attention, balancing above and over her, she broke away from the kiss with a mischievous smile.

"No more foreplay, please, Damon. I need you inside of me," A statement that had caused Damon's body to shudder with anticipation and lust and love. Placing a chaste kiss on her cheek, he tugged her black boy shorts down her olive skin toned legs before positioning himself as her opening. He didn't have to check if she was ready, he could smell her arousal right as they had started kissing.

Positioning his manhood at her opening of her core, he locked eyes with hers. His cerulean shades meeting her dark brown. They didn't have to say anything. All their emotions were conveyed in that moment, just with their eyes.

Pushing himself slowly in, inch by inch, Elena dug her nails into his back, breaking his skin, letting out a long breathy moan as he filled her up to the hilt. Sure she had caught glimpses of his manhood before, but this was different.

When she finally adjusted to his size, she dug her heels into his backside, urging him to move against her velvet walls. Setting a steady pace, Damon never took his eyes off of her.

Elena tightened her grips against his biceps, squeezing them in delight pleasure as he pushed himself in and out of her at a delicious pace. Her breath quickened along side with Damon's. This was love. This was lovemaking, not fucking, not sex.

They continued their session until Damon and Elena reached nirvana at the same time. Elena let out a loud scream, screaming out her lover's name to no end as Damon let out a deep groan chanting Elena's name like a mantra.

Their bodies slick with sweat, Elena leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Damon's lip.

"I love you, Damon. I love you so much that I would die without you." She bit her lip at the confession. Was it too much?

Damon looked at her with such admiration in his eyes before kissing her softly.

"I have always loved you. I will always love you."

* * *

**DPOV**:

_**Tonight I'm weak  
**_

Damon was lying on his back, with Elena's head pressed against his chest, her arm splayed across his stomach, tracing obscure patterns on his stomach.

_**It's just another day without you  
That I can't sleep**_

"When you… left, I slept in your room every night." Elena's voice filled the air. Damon's hand was brushing up and down her other arm, lightly leaving goosebumps every time her brushed against her skin with his fingertips.

"Before Stefan left, when I slept with him… I would always wait until he fell asleep. I'd sneak into your room and bury myself in your smell. It was the only way I could fall asleep. Stefan would wake up every morning with me in here…"

Damon chuckled softly before pressing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"I never slept. I haven't slept for six weeks." He could feel her smile against his chest, a feeling that he was learning to love.

_**I give it away, away all for you too  
Hear me say, don't throw me away  
There's no way out  
I gotta hold you somehow  
All I wanna do is touch you  
**_

"Elena. This is forever, right?" Damon said with an uneasy voice. He wasn't sure if he could handle that heartbreak again. No, he was sure he wouldn't be able to. He would snap.

Elena let out a soft giggle before looking up and meeting his eyes.

"I'd give everything away; sacrifice it all, just to touch you once. This is forever, no doubt."

And with that, forever was sealed with a kiss.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, that's it, folks! Tell me what you thought about it. I really do enjoy this song and I couldn't help but think of Delena Post S3 while I was listening to it non-stop. It's a literal interpretation, but I think it kind of works.

Please leave me feedback, I love hearing from you guys!

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**Twitter:** Qperferque


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